Once you've been away at college, going back home
can either feel like a stifling loss of your new-found
freedom, or a welcome relief from academic life.
Either way, things will never be exactly
the same as before you left home. Since you've
been gone, you've been able to set your own schedule,
freely choose your friends and activities, and make
your own decisions.
Meanwhile, your parents have probably made some
changes too. Their schedules are filled with activities
that don't include you, and younger sibilings may
be receiving more of their attention. Even
though you're a young adult, parents can still treat
you like you were ten years old. That can
make going home for breaks really stressful. Here
are some ways you can take action now so that your
visit home will be a lot more pleasant.
Share
Expectations. What
are you planning for your time at home? Will
you being spending most of your time with your friends?
How does that match up with your mom's plans for
a family reunion? You can prevent most arguments
simply by sharing your expectations upfront and
asking your parents to do the same. That way,
if there are differences of opinion, you can talk
about them first and not spend your break arguing.
Plan
Ahead. Plan
one or two special activities with your parents.
They often feel left out when their kids
leave home and end up laying on the guilt if you
don't spend enough time with them (especially if
they're footing your college bills!) If they
can look forward to your undivided attention, they're
more likely to lighten up.
Show
Respect. No
matter how much freedom you've had at school, it's
still your parents' house. If you plan on
staying there, you need to abide by their house
rules. That doesn't mean those rules are
set in stone, and by talking to your parents respectfully
and maturely, you can demonstrate how a compromise
can be reached.
Do
Your Share. This
may be your vacation but your home is not Club Med.
Clean up after yourself and offer to help
around the house. This is a great way to show
your parents you are maturing and can handle more
responsibility.
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