A common fear of many college freshmen
is about making friends. It can be scary to leave
your high school buddies behind and start all over again.
But, it can be exciting to meet new people too!
The cool thing about starting fresh is that you're
not tied to old perceptions and stereotypes about who
you were in high school. People are meeting you
for the first time and will see you for who you are today.
This is a great opportunity to build friendships
that can last a lifetime.
Here
are some tips to get you started:
Get
out. Hiding
in your dorm room will not help you meet new people!
Instead of waiting for new friends to find you, find ways
to be around people you'd like to meet. For example,
in your classes, be sure and sit near others instead of
by yourself. Join study groups, campus clubs and
organizations, hangout in the coffee shop, or exercise
at the rec center.
Smile.
The
surest way to strike up a conversation with someone is
to smile, look the person in the eyes, and say, "Hi."
If you're shy and hope others will approach you
first, it could be a long wait. Sometimes shy, quiet
behavior can be mistaken for being stuck up or wanting
to be left alone. Take it upon yourself to make
the first move.
Show
interest in others. The
more you show a sincere interest in others, the more likeable
you become. Ask questions about the other person,
such as, "How's class going for you?" or "What other
classes are you taking?" or "What have you heard
about this professor?: Putting the focus on the
other person takes the pressure off you to carry the entire
conversation. Be sure and listen to the
person's answers so you can build on what is said.
Share
something about yourself. A
good conversation is balanced, so share a little bit about
yourself too. Start with topics like personal interests,
hobbies, classes or major, your hometown, favorite movies
or CDs. Be careful not to share all this at once!
If a person mentions a favorite movie, then you
could share yours too. Give people enough information
so they remember you without dominating the conversation.
Build
on common interests. The
best friendships are based on common interests.
If you discover the other person is interested in the
same things you are, build on it. If you both like the
same local band, invite the person to see a show.
If you share the same class, ask to study together.
If you both drink coffee, invite him or her to the local
coffee shop.
Make
sure it's good for you. Not
every friendship will be a lasting one. You may
hangout with some people for a while who you later decide
are not right for you. That's okay. Here's
the bottom line for any relationship: After spending time
with the person, do you feel better or worse? If
being with that person makes you feel good, then it's
worth developing the friendship. But, if being with
the person makes you feel bad, used, angry, or compromised
in any way, it's time to end it and move on.
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