Do best friends make the best college
roommates? Not always! It's amazing how
the quirky things you used to like about your best friend
can begin to drive you crazy when you're around it 24/7.
Just because you've been friends since grade school
doesn't mean you should live together.
In fact, rooming together can ruin a friendship
if the two of you don't discuss a few things ahead of
time. Living together is way different than hanging
out a lot. It's a mistake to assume that everything
will be fine just because you have a history.
Here are some things you and your best
friend should talk about before you commit to being roomies.
Expect
things to change. College
is about growing and making new friends. Only hanging
out with your best friend can hold both of you back. All
it takes is one, "You didn't used to be that way," to
feel trapped. Are you okay with your best friend
spending less time with you and more time with new friends?
Talk about how you'd deal with this and if you
expect to be included or not.
Set
ground rules.
A roommate relationship takes friendship to a whole other
level because now it involves sharing space, time, and
decision-making. If you don't establish boundaries with
your friend like you would with someone you don't know
as well, it's too easy to cross the line. You can end
up feeling taken advantage of because you assumed your
friend would make the same decisions as you, even though
it was never discussed. How will you handle cleaning,
bills, and study time? Is it alright to borrow
clothes and other personal items? When is it okay
to have guests over? Decide these things ahead
of time so they won't become issues later.
Make
room for dating. You
may have promised to hang out together, but a cute date
can change all that! It's hard not to feel jealous
when you're the one left out in the cold. Does
your friend expect you to leave the room whenever he or
she wants alone time with a new date? Both of you
deserve to have a say in who gets private time in the
room and what you think is fair.
Prepare
for stress. College
can be stressful at times between the demands of studying,
social pressures, working, and maybe even a little homesickness.
It can cause even the best of friends to take it
out on each other. Support one another by suggesting
healthy ways to let off a little steam like exercising,
going to a movie, talking, or even giving the other person
a little space.
Fight
Fair.
When issues come up, deal with them right away.
Don't expect your friend to know what's bugging you just
because you've known each other a long time. No
one is a mind reader. Giving the silent treatment
or having IM arguments can make a semester seem like a
lifetime! Plus, it's hard to avoid someone who
is living four feet away.
Rooming with your best friend can be
a positive experience, as long as both of you agree upfront
how you'll handle these situations. It can be reassuring
to room with someone who understands and accepts you,
rather than starting from scratch with a person you've
never met.
On the other hand, rooming with a different person gives
you a chance to experience something totally new and possibly
make another great friend. And, if your new roomie
ever gets on your nerves, you can always go visit your
best friend!
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