Abusive relationships can happen to men and women.  The relationships usually start fast and furious, like a whirlwind.  In the beginning, you may have felt swept off your feet.  Your boyfriend or girlfriend may have given you tons of attention and wanted to get serious right away.  But soon, it turns dark and controlling.  Here are some warning signs of an abusive relationship:

Jealousy.  The abuser says that jealousy is a sign of love. 

Possessiveness and controlling behavior.  The abuser repeatedly calls and asks where the girlfriend or boyfriend has been or gets angry about attention paid to someone else.

Verbal criticisms and abuse.  The abuser ridicules, criticizes, insults continually until the victim feels worthless.

Continual checking up on the victim.  The abuser spies on or demands to know the victim’s whereabouts.

Social isolation. The victim is isolated from friends and family members.  This gives the abuser a sense of control.

Threats of suicide.  Abusers threaten to hurt or kill themselves if their partners threaten to break up.

Guilt trips.  The abuser says, “If you really loved me, you would (do this).”

Broken promises.  Abusers ask for a chance to make up for their behavior, stating that they will change.

Forced sex.  Abusers force their partners to have sex or intimidate them so that they are afraid to say no.

If you feel your relationship may be abusive, help is available!  You're not alone.  Make an appointment with the campus counseling center right away.  If you are in immediate danger, call 911.  Learn more about dating violence from the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center.